The Crystal Ball

Will YOU be poor and unhappy

or prosperous and joy-filled?

John Maxwell writes, "We need to understand that the value we place on ourselves is usually the value others place on us, too. One of my favorite stories is about a man who went to fortune-teller to hear what she had to say about his future. She looked into a crystal ball and said, "You will be poor and unhappy until you are 45 years old."

"Then what will happen?" asked the man hopefully.

"Then you'll get used to it."'

Maxwell goes on to say, "That's the way most people live their lives--according to what others believe about them. If the important people in their lives expect them to go nowhere, then that's what they expect for themselves. That's fine if you're surrounded by people who believe in you. But what if you're not?"

How you feel about yourself right now is largely dictated by past experiences. Positive past experiences, including receiving lots of love, being valued and respected, and receiving constructive criticism along with appropriate praise and encouragement—can lead to a positive, realistic view of oneself and healthy self-acceptance. You'll value yourself and believe you can do great things with your life. And, because you believe you can, you can!

On the other hand, negative past experiences such as being ignored, criticized, ridiculed, teased, or picked on regularly; and being surrounded by unrealistically demanding parents or teachers, can lead to a negative view of oneself, a lack of self-confidence, feelings of inferiority, and a great deal of self-doubt. When you are filled with self-doubt, dreams of creating a magnificent life will often be thwarted by the belief that it's not really possible for you. And, because you believe you can't, you can't.

Here's the good news. Actually, it's really good news: You no longer have to believe in the thoughts that hold you back. It's your choice to change those thoughts and begin believing in the truth that you are valuable and you are capable of designing and living your best life.

How? Become aware of your limiting thoughts and then consciously change them into more empowering truths. Using the fortune-teller example, suppose someone said to you:

"You will be poor and unhappy."

Rather than allowing those words to fill you with fear and despair, immediately change the thought. You could tell yourself:

"That may be true for some but it's certainly not true for me. Opportunity and prosperity meet me around every corner."

Start guarding against negative self-talk. You get to choose what you think. Fill your mind with beliefs that fill you with hope instead of fear. You are valuable; and your dreams and goals really can come true!

You deserve to live your best life. No matter who you are, where you are, or what you've been through, find comfort in the fact that it's not too late for you. You can move forward and transform your life forever!

Take the first step today -- choose to join Denise Marek as she presents her BRAND NEW power-packed presentation:

NEW!!!

Your Life, Your Design

Your Life, Your Design is the one program that will truly ignite the courage within you to live your best life. In this 90-minute seminar, you'll:

#1. Learn how to get from where you are now to exactly where you want to be.

#2. Release anything that's getting in the way of what you want to do, be, or have.

#3. Uncover your true authentic self.

#4. Gain the courage to live the life of your heart's desires.

#5. Free yourself from non-physical trappings, such as unhealthy thinking and negative belief systems.

#6. Let go of the fears that keeps you stuck and struggling.

#7. Uncover what you truly want and move forward into a happier future.

#8. Discover your purpose and gain true fulfillment.

Denise Marek's new seminar also makes a meaningful gift idea for a friend, family member, or work party gift exchange, stocking stuffer, and/or a gift to share the joy of a transformed 2013!

Where? When? How Much?

This step by step journey to designing--and living--your best life takes place on:

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

7pm - 8:30pm

Whitby Courthouse Theatre

416 Centre St. South

Whitby, ON

Introductory Price

$49/Person

Or make two easy payments of $24.50/month

Please forward this message to your friends! In fact . . . 

When you purchase 3 or more tickets, we reduce your ticket price to$39/person!

Don't miss this -- Because this introductory rate is so low combined with the fact that theatre seating is limited to 160, you'll want to book today -- this life-changing seminar will sell out!

Mastercard and Visa are accepted

To Register:

Call 1-877-553-7397

 or

Email: operator@denisemarek.com

How to Get Rid of Worry Series: Step Three - Let Go of the Uncontrollable

If you’re afraid that letting go of worry will be impossible, let me assure you that you can kick the habit, no matter who you are, where you’ve been, or what you’re going through. This former chronic worrier did, and you can, too!

So far in this How to Get Rid of Worry series, you’ve learned to: Challenge Your Assumptions and Act to Control the Controllable. Now we’re moving onto the third step in the CALM process:

L = Let Go of the Uncontrollable

In CALM, you’ll find 52 worry-busting strategies that have helped me and thousands of others who have attended my seminars and keynotes over the years to kick the worry-habit. Some of them will help you erase your anxieties. Others have been designed to help your body recover from the physical toll that stress takes on it. 

Here are three strategies you can implement today to help you kick the worry habit:

• Eliminate worry-inducing words from your vocabulary. Words such as should, can’t, no one, everyone, always, and never create a great deal of anxiety. Write down what you’re stressed about and circle all the worry-inducing words. Then replace them with terms such as could, prefer, can, choose not to, some people, sometimes, and occasionally. These replacement words are calming and they also tend to be more accurate.

• Trust yourself. You’ve already handled everything that life has dealt to you; trust you’ll be able to handle whatever else comes your way. Affirm: I have the skills I need to solve problems. I have survived and thrived beyond challenges in the past, and I trust that if the need arises, I can do it again!

• Have faith in happy endings. Calm your mind today by imagining the best for tomorrow. Click here to read a past blog post on how to do just that.

This week, while you’re letting go of the uncontrollable, continue acting to control the controllable and challenging your assumptions. There is one more step to add to the mix and that is to Master your Mind. Next week, you’ll find out how to use that fourth step to guard against negative thinking. Until then, keep well!

Have Faith in Happy Endings

Calm your mind today, by having faith in a brighter tomorrow.

I remember being in the hospital when I was a young girl, in excruciating pain with a horribly infected leg. Four days earlier, I had somehow managed to plunge a steak knife deep into the side of my right knee. I was 12 years old and hadn’t been concentrating on what I was doing, until I realized I had a knife sticking out of my leg. I yanked it out and screamed for my older sister to call an ambulance. She wrapped my leg with a tea towel-turned-tourniquet and called my mother at work to come take me to the hospital. There I had my wound bandaged up and was sent home.

           

The next day, my knee really started to hurt. I was limping around the house and complaining about the pain to my family, who assumed I was laying it on thick just to get attention. I was a 12-year-old with a wound that didn’t even require stitches, so it was a fairly reasonable assumption. However, it was incorrect. I wasn’t exaggerating and by the end of the third day, my knee had more than doubled in size. I was in so much pain I could not get out of bed, and by now it was very obvious that I wasn’t just vying for attention.

           

As I was unable to move without screaming in agony, my mom called an ambulance to take me to the hospital. The paramedics arrived, saw how much pain I was in, and suggested my mother just pack my knee in ice rather than try to move me. They assumed there wasn’t anything seriously wrong with my knee and all I required was some ice to bring down the swelling—another incorrect assumption. The next morning, after having been iced for the night, my knee was even worse, swelling to a size bigger than my head.

           

“This is ridiculous,” my stepfather said. “I’ll take you to the hospital myself.” While I cried in pain, he and my mom carried me down the stairs of our house and drove me back to the hospital. The admittance nurse took one look at me, rushed me into an examination room, and within a matter of minutes a swarm of doctors were hovering over my leg. I was relieved to be at the hospital, finally getting the attention I needed. I was sure I’d be fixed up in no time. Little did I know the doctor in the hall outside the examination room was telling my mom that my leg would likely have to be amputated. Amputation had never even crossed my mind. At the age of 12, I believed people went to the hospital to get better, not to get things cut off!

           

Thankfully, my mom was against idea and asked them to first do everything possible to save my leg. They agreed to treat it with intravenously administered antibiotics but warned they would only be able to use that course of action for a short time before running the risk of the infection spreading. An operation was also scheduled for the following day to drain some of the fluid from my knee and I was admitted to a hospital room. Even though the pain was unbearable, I took comfort knowing I would soon be better.

After a night of antibiotics, the swelling started to subside and the operation to drain my knee was postponed 24 hours. On the third day in the hospital, I was still unable to move my leg without a huge amount of pain but my knee was getting better. The doctors were astonished. The operation was postponed another day, then another, and another. A week later, without surgery, my knee had healed. I was released from the hospital and, with the help of crutches—and both of my legs—I hobbled home. A month later, I was running around as though the entire ordeal had never occurred. It was then that my mom explained just how close I had come to having my leg amputated.

This experience illustrates the value of challenging your assumptions. Incorrect assumptions almost cost me my leg. However, there is another equally important message and that is to have faith in happy endings. Happy endings happen all the time. 

• A man with cancer hears from his doctor that the cancer is in remission. 
• A woman who has had difficulty conceiving finds out she’s pregnant or adopts her first child. 
• A teenager who has been told she would never walk again leaves her wheelchair and takes her first few steps. 
• My own mother, who had been told her child’s leg might have to be amputated, believed in the possibility of happy endings when she asked the doctors to first do whatever they could to avoid amputation. One month later she watched that same child run around on two healthy legs. 

When you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a worrisome situation, calm your mind by acknowledging that it’s just as possible that a happy ending can happen for you, too.

It’s important to understand that I’m not asking you to believe in a fairy-tale “happily ever after” ending, where the prince and princess spend the rest of their lives in uninterrupted harmony. We all know that in the real world, along with the triumphs, victories, joy, and bliss, we will experience obstacles, disappointments, sorrow, and heartache right up to the very end of our lives. It’s a necessary part of life. If we had all highs and no lows, we wouldn’t grow. 

And unlike a fairy tale, your life is not just one long story. It’s a multitude of stories, each made up of many, many chapters and each chapter with its own beginning and end. During the difficult chapters of your life, I’m asking you to believe that a favorable outcome is possible. I’m suggesting you consider putting an end to your worry by having faith in happy endings instead of wasting your energy worrying about the worst possible outcome.

We waste far too much time worrying about things that never actually happen. That’s why we’re told: Don’t cross that bridge before you come to it. Having faith in happy endings will assist you in following this sage advice. Yet, what if you believe in a favorable outcome and end up with a not-so-happy ending? Would focusing on the best-case scenario have been a foolish waste of time? Not at all. Worrying wouldn’t have helped or changed the outcome. No amount of worrying will make tomorrow better. What you can do, however, is make today better by imagining the best for tomorrow.

When dealing with a difficult situation, challenge your assumptions, take action to control what you can control, and then let worry go. Every time I see the tiny scar on the side of my right knee or think of my mother’s powerful advocacy at the hospital, I know that happy endings are indeed possible. Have faith that a happy ending will happen for you.

An excerpt from CALM: A Proven Four-Step Process Designed Specifically for Women Who Worry by Denise Marek