How to Get Rid of Worry Series: Step Two (Cont'd) - Take Action for the Right Reasons

In the last post, you learned sometimes worry serves you and the value of taking action to control the things you can. To help you follow through on your action plan when you’re faced with fear of displeasing others, you want to ensure you take action for the right reasons.

Take Action for the Right Reasons

There are two types of actions. There are things you do for the wrong reasons, such as what you think others want you to do. Then there are actions you take for the right reasons, such as doing what you know is right for you. Sometimes those are the most frightening steps to take, but they’re also the ones that have the most significant impact on the quality of your life. 

I certainly understand how hard it can be to do what’s right for you when faced with the possibility of being judged. For that reason, here are two strategies to help deal with criticism--that I wrote about in book CALM:

• Consider the source. Who’s criticizing you? is it someone you trust, who you know loves you and wants the best for you? Or is it a “small thinker”? There will always be those people in the world who want to knock you down with their negative outlook. Don’t waste your energy trying to figure out why they judge you--it’s an unsolvable puzzle with missing pieces. Instead, invest your energy searching for people who inspire you, believe in you, and accept you for who you are.

• Care about what you think of yourself. You always have the choice between being concerned about what others think of you and caring about what you think of yourself. I strongly recommend that you choose the latter. Don’t sacrifice your life trying to please others. As my mom often said, “The people who love you are going to like you no matter what you do. But there will aways be some people who won’t like you no matter what you do. You can’t please everybody.” It’s time to stop trying to make everyone else happy and to begin being good to yourself.

The next time the fear of displeasing others or receiving criticism is stopping you from doing what you know is right for you, remember to consider the source and care about what you think of yourself. This will go a long way in helping you take action for the right reasons. 

While you’re taking action to control the controllable and while you’re continuing to challenge your assumptions, you’re ready to move on to the third step in the CALM process...and let go of the uncontrollable. The third step will help you to let go of worrying about those things that are beyond your control. It will be on it’s way to you next week. Until then, keep well!

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