No matter how much you’ve worried in the past or are doing so right now, you can let go of this emotion. I know you can, because I did. I was once a chronic worrier. I fretted about my weight and appearance, making mistakes, my job, money, and being alone. Was I loveable, likeable, or good enough? You name it, and I worried about it.
Yet here I am today-a nonworrier. I’m calm, content, and filled with joy. If I could get here, you can, too! During this How to Get Rid of Worry series, you’ll discover the strategies that really helped me. If you apply these same techniques to your own life, you’ll stop worrying. It’s that simple. This month, we’ll focus on the first step.
C = Challenge Your Assumptions:
Most worries often begin as “What-if” questions. What if my kids make bad choices? What if I don’t have enough money to pay the bills? What if I try and don’t succeed? What if? What if? What if?
Anytime you answer those scary questions with a negative assumption, an enormous amount of worry can set in. That’s why the first step in the CALM process is so crucial: Challenge your assumptions. But how do you go about dong that? After all, they’re what makes sense to you, so how can you break free?
In my book CALM, you can read about six “assumption busting” questions that will help you challenge your own assumptions. Here’s one you can use right now: Is it probable?
Often when we’re dwelling on things that could go wrong, we ask Is it possible that what I’m worried about will happen? The answer is yes, of course it’s possible--anything can happen. That’s why, when we think about the unlimited options of what might go wrong in any given situation, an enormous amount of anxiety can set it. To regain your inner peace, shift the query to Is it probable? In other words, you can wonder, Is it likely that what I’m worried about will happen? By simply changing the focus in this small way, you’ll gain a better perspective. Try it for yourself:
Step 1: Write down the thing that you’re worried might happen.
Step 2: Rate the probability of it actually happening on a scale of 1 to 10. (1 = least likely to happen; 10 = most likely to happen.)
- Did you rate your worry a 5 or less? That’s a pretty good indication that what you’re worried about won’t happen.
- Did you rate your worry a 9 or less? It’s estimated that at least 90 percent of the things you’re concerned about won’t happen. Even if you rated the probability at a 9, there’s a good change that what’s making you anxious still isn’t going to occur.
- Did you rate your worry a 10? If this is the case, you feel that this scenario is extremely likely to happen. But there’s hope: The next three steps in the CALM process will help you let go of your anxieties--even the ones with a 10 rating!
Next month we will move onto the second step in the CALM process: Act to Control the Controllable. Until then, continue to challenge your assumptions so that you can reconnect with the inner peace that worry crowds out.
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